Spider-Man Menace!!!

Ridiculous. Insane. Inconceivable. These were the words that leapt into my mind when I learned of that piece of red-and-blue-adorned filth entering the ranks of our nation's foremost champions - the Avengers. As the news came over the wire, I found myself running my fingers through the remainder of my hair, in shock over the ridiculousness of the situation.

For years, the Avengers had represented not only what was best of the American people but of humanity as well. They had been the beacon of hope in our darkest hour. They had been our saviors in times of need. They had championed right and truth when we had forgotten what those words meant.

They had done all this without demand, merely acting out of the goodness of their hearts. But, to their credit and to their detriment, these hearts were only human. While we eternally strive for perfection, as humans we always fall short of that goal. And when the great fall, it is a terrible, terrible thing.

By now, I'm sure that you have all heard about the recent events in California. Once again that wall-crawling menace has shown his true colors. For years, I have decried the villain that is Spider-Man for his crimes against this city and against this nation. He has mocked the decency of mankind, undermining the efforts of true heroes. He has been connected with more crimes (many of them murders) than any known felon. And now, even the common man is not safe from his unique brand of evil.

There are many that would claim this man to be a hero - to be worthy of the mantle of Avenger. They say that the good he has accomplished far outweighs any legal improprieties on his part. They mention various occasions where he has appeared to fight on the side of the angels. And if he looks like an angel, he must be one. If the Fantastic Four are willing to battle alongside him, if the Avengers welcome him with open arms, he really couldn't be that bad.

These people are wrong.

The naivete of these men and women is almost as great a threat as this webbed vigilante. By burying our head in the sand, hiding ourselves from the truth, we only invite our own end. This act of thievery, while petty in nature, only demonstrates the pathology that I have pointed to for many years. As I have said on numerous occasions, Spider-Man is a menace. This most recent event is only further proof. A final nail in an already welded-shut coffin.

Willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for past indiscretions, I have to believe that the Avengers originally invited this criminal into their midst in an attempt to rehabilitate him. It is obvious by today's news that these efforts have failed.

As of press time today, the Avengers have yet to formally respond. They have taken no visible action against a known criminal that hides from justice within their very midst. As I stated earlier, the Avengers had been the ideal of humanity. The question I ask today is - What are they now? How far have they fallen? Do they no longer stand for justice? Do they no longer stand for truth?

They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, and today that road leads by Avengers Tower. God help us all if they fail in their next decision.