NBC Hates Black People!

Mayhaps an apology is in order to you all. It has been quite some time since I have dabbled in bloggery, but I assure you that I have not been resting on my supple, curv-ed laurels. I have, in fact, been fighting the good fight on behalf of you all. (And by you all, I mean roughly 13% of you…then again that number should probably be significantly lower with regards to this blog.)

I speak, of course, of the campaign that I have championed for these past few weeks. A cause that had drawn me from many of my responsibilities – blogging, bathing, even surfing for porn. Yes, I have wreaked like a French woman’s armpit for nigh a month now pursuing justice. Pursuing corporate responsibility. Pursuing the cancellation of the Black Donnelys.

The Black Donnelys. Pshaw! (If I could create an appropriate spit noise using only letters, I would insert it here.) Black my eye. If those gentlemen, those Donnely brothers, are supposed to be true representatives of my fellow Americans of African descent, then I am a Mexican-American hermaphroditic sheep-herder from the isle of Elba…I guess that would make me a Mexican-European. (And I’m not, by the way, Mexican-European or a sheep herder.)

(…I’m not a hermaphrodite either, come to think of it…)

Black. They dare call themselves “black.” In a show about four “black” men trying to overcome the odds laid against them by the racist society that dominates this nation, does NBC hire even one “black” actor to play the role? No. They hire four of the palest, thinnest, low-jumpingest crackers they can find. What an insult.

Don’t believe me? Just check out the show’s official Web site. I guess NBC thought that playing rap music in the background would make us overlook the pigmentation deficiency in Messiuers Tucker, Stahl-David, Lush and Guiry.

And, of course, the hits just keep on coming. Are these four “black” men fine, upstanding citizens? Are they businessmen or lawyers? Are they professors of physics? I know, they’re firefighters. Right? Oh wait, I remember now - they’re street thugs…How original. How very original. NBC should get a fracking award for originality.

And if that stereotype weren’t already played to the hilt, NBC is certain to make sure that these thugz fo’ life are capable of only the most subhuman of intelligence. They can barely speak English, and when they do, it comes across as a slurred, barely intelligible dialect. I’m sure that if these characters had descended from somewhere in Western Europe rather than the majestic African plains, they would not have been afflicted with this problem. And really, do they have to refer to each other as “brothas” every five minutes? Hasn’t that stereotype been played out already? Shouldn’t they being saying “nizzle” or dropping the word that must not be named. (You know, the n-bomb.)

Then again, perhaps we should get on our hands and knees and thank our “massah’s” at NBC that they were at least willing to grant them the gift of speech. Some are unwilling to do even that.

I would be lax in my duties not to mention another alarming theme that centers around the series’ main character, Tommy Donnely. When the show starts, this fine “black” lad is enrolled in college, making a better life for himself. Of course the thuggery of his “brothas” soon drags him back into the life of crime that he was trying to slough off. Unfortunately, this education seems to have only made young Tommy a more formidable threat to society at large. They should just save everybody’s time and start every episode with the phrase “An educated ‘black’ man, is a dangerous ‘black’ man.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the next theme used in those crappy “The More You Know” PSAs they’re always doing. Maybe they could get David Duke or Robert Byrd to do it for them…

But I digress. Yes, I have struggled. I have fought the good fight, and as of this week, my struggle is over. Victory is ours my friends. Rejoice. The blindfold has been pulled off our dear Lady Justice, and she is wicked pissed. We the people have once again joined our hands across this great nation to show that we shall rise above it all and have a dream of some kind that I can’t remember the nature of at this exact moment. Ultimately, we have shown Corporate Amerikkka that you cannot screw with the few, the proud, the Nubians.