Take This Interweb and Shove It

For the past several months I have been boycotting the Internet to pay it back for the wrongs that it has propagated against me (and by boycott I mean exclusively using it to download porn, gamble and stalk victims...I mean girlfriends...and I don't mean stalk, I mean...um...talk to?). Where was I? Oh yes, I was wronged - by the Internet no less. You see, I had been participating in this whole Web 2.0 fad, blogging and myspacing and the like. I had also begun to use twitter, posting my witty comments in 140 characters or less.

Well in addition to my more "traditional" Twitter usage, I had also been using it for a more "creative" exercise. I had been maintaining a Twitter presence under the guise of Victor von Doom, monarch of Latveria, viewing my daily experiences through his eyes. The idea had come to me after I had completed this blog entry, where I reviewed the second Fantastic Four movie from his perspective. I rather enjoyed shrouding myself in the voice of Dr. Doom, and quickly abandoned posting anything to my Venting Plasma account in favor of VonDoom.

Unfortunately, last summer, Marvel apparently became aware of Twitter and began employing it for guerrilla marketing...mainly to prevent the rise of communist marketing in South America. After they had established a couple of Skrull-themed twitter accounts to promote their Secret Invasion event, they apparently became aware of my account, and I was promptly served with the online equivalent of a cease and desist order. I was told that I was in violation of the Terms of Use, both committing copyright infringement and impersonation. And the name of my twitter account was changed to VonDoom Fan, which was pretty lame. (Of course, I should probably be happy that they didn't change it to something really crappy like I'm Super Gay for Dr. Doom...of course, now that you mention it, that might be fun to write...oh you did so mention it. We all heard you. Why must you always lie, you lying harlot? I hate you! You always ruin everything!)

Where was I? Oh yes, VonDoom Fan. Well that ID is pretty lame and undermines everything I was trying to do with the account, and I refuse to have my artistic vision compromised. So I stopped posting to VonDoom...Fan.

Now since I am a hardcore Marvel fanboy and unwilling to show any anger toward the big M, I chose to take out my frustration on the World Wide Web. I decided that I would no longer participate in the Internet until I feel it had been sufficiently chagrined for this affront, and so I began a self-imposed exile that I am now lifting.

Yes, you may enjoy me once again.