A Vendetta, Held as a Votive, Not in Vain

As my previous post indicated, today is the fifth of November - Guy Fawkes night. For quite some time, this day had no importance to me; however, in the past handful of years, it has taken on special significance thanks to Alan Moore's work, V for Vendetta. As this day is tied to several key plot points, I feel the need to celebrate it in a fashion befitting the fictional work that has so captured my fascination.

After pondering how to accomplish this feat for some time, I remembered this VG Cats comic strip and inspiration struck. There is a scene in the film adaptation of the work that features a particular alliterative soliloquy that V uses "to suggest the character of [his] dramatis personae." Deciding to follow in these footsteps, I offer similar fair:

J’accuse!

Je suis, a jovial jack-of-no-trades, juxtaposed as both judge and jury by the jugglings of Fate. This jester, no mere jackass of jocularity, is a jetsam of the corpus juris, now jaded, jaundiced. However, this judicious junket of a by-gone jibe, stands at a junction, and has journeyed to jettison these jingoist and jackbooted jackals jockeying jobbery and joisting these jeering jezebels and the jiffy jailing of joy.

The only judgement is justice; a jihad, held as a jingle, not in jest, for the journeying and jonesing of such shall one day jubilate the jurisprudent and the just. Jiminy christmas, this juggernaut of jargon jaunts most jabbersome so let me simply add that I am jolly well pleased to meet you, and you may call me J.


(Author's note: If you hadn't picked up on this yet, my name is Josh)

Sweet jeebus, this was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be, starting out.

Now, I admit that this is nowhere near as eloquent as the original, but I worked with what I had. There aren't as many "j" words as you might think, and they all don't make the same "juh" sound. Also, my hands were a little tied since I was trying to keep to the same structure as the original. Had I been fomenting my own speech about what I stand for (assuming I ever decide to stand for something), then I probably would be able to pull off something a little more classy.

Anyway, here's the text from the original, so you can compare it if you feel so inclined:

Voilà!

In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.