As Q1/2006 draws to a close, it is time at my employer to draft new objectives for the coming year. It is by these goals that my occupational efforts will be measured, my worth determined. Bearing in mind that I consider my job to be a minimal portion of my life (while absorbing a bulk of my time), I decided that I would also draft a list of objectives for the oncoming year that relate to my personal development. And so I give you now, my personal objectives for 2006:
- Don't die
- Stop being such a jerk
- Buy a house (and by "house" I mean "townhome"...and by "buy," I mean "burn to the ground")
- Resume my diet
- Stop listening to my teeth...especially when they make sense
- Grow another mohawk
- Do a better job of staying in touch with out-of-state family and friends
- Stop threatening coworkers with physical violence...non-physical violence still ok
- Write something substantive...or at least come up with a really good excuse why I haven't
- Memorize some Shakespeare
- Trick beautiful woman into falling in love with me by quoting aforementioned Shakespearen passages
- Save up money to buy a mail-order bride if Operation Bard Maiden fails (and by "buy," I mean "burn to the ground"...probably crossed a line with that one)
- Undo the mistakes of the previous year.
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