Doing a nickel out in Broomfield

Today commemorates my five-year anniversary with my current company. Among the festivities for today I will be treated to a free lunch at Wahoo's Fish Tacos. As further boon, an e-mail proclaiming my longevity was sent out to the entire company, inviting good tidings and well-wishings to clog the arteries of my inbox. Among the exchanges was this gem from a colleague:

"Yay! You finally get your pension!! No need to worry about getting fired now, right?! Congrats!"

My reply:

"Indeed. My non-stop campaign of sexual harassment and racial slurs shall commence shortly."