I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel

For the first time in a decade, I have gone snowboarding. This now brings my total of snowboarding trips to two. I don't know if there are words to describe just how much I suck, but I saw dozens of children no higher than my waste rocket past me throughout the day. (I think quite of few of them were laughing at me.) However, I can say that I did a hell of a lot better than I did back in my senior year of high school. Unfortunately, any number multiplied by zero is still zero.

As you might expect, I fell on every part of my anatomy several times - sometimes driving one part of said anatomy into an alternate, more tender part. Oddly enough, the pain of the actual day of snowboarding is so much less then the ongoing suffering of the following days. Every muscle burns with the fire of a hundred...nay, a thousand suns. Those aforementioned anatomy parts grow livid with any motion. And my left knee, my apparent shock absorber of choice, stings on contact with anything heavier than a feather.

In this state, I find myself questioning "Why in the name of all that does not suck did I do this to myself?" I believe the only answer is that I must have some masochistic tendency. Some intense self-loathing that leads me to my own destruction. Typically, I try to avoid pain whenever possible, but on Monday, that was not the case. In fact, I kept trying to push myself until my body was no longer willing to cooperate.

I need to have a good, long talk with myself and work on this latent hostility. Until I work this out, I am going to self-medicate with a lot of rest and sitting on my voluminous, yet supple posterior.